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‎22-04-2024 11:11 PM - edited ‎22-04-2024 11:23 PM
‎22-04-2024 11:11 PM - edited ‎22-04-2024 11:23 PM
Anorexia lying bastard tried to give me a life sentence
At first you were comforting
A safety I was desperate to feel
Control was ours and we could take on the world
Every kilo down the closer we were to a better life
Emotions we couldn’t feel
Then the lines blurred and we diverted
We ended up in a hospital bed
We were not meant to end up here
You told me we would be successful and happy
Why do I hate my existence and so desperately want to leave this world?
Why do I feel so behind everyone else?
I trusted you and you mislead me
You made me believe shrinking would be the answer to the pain and overall success
I listened and I pushed myself
I deceived the people who cared to protect you trusting you were right and they were wrong
I did everything you said and followed your rules perfectly
Despite the greatest efforts of everyone trying to keep me alive
It wasn’t long and I was in a hospital bed once again
This time we didn’t know if I would pull through
Traumatic treatment saved my life not you
Without that intervention you would of won
Worried faces surrounded me day in day out
It was touch and go there and during it all you were silent
However once treatment started you found your voice again
You reminded me every time when the machine pumped nutrients into me I was weak
You reminded me every time I looked in the mirror I should be ashamed of what I see
You kept me alive and now you are trying to destroy me over and over again
I can’t trust anything else you say
You are making me manipulate, deceitful and a liar
You are not making me a kind, loving or caring
I need you to release the shackles and set me free
I will not be another one of your statistics
I have so much more in this life to give
I have been told by the ones who really care for me
I can no longer trust anything you say
Leaving you will be hard and I have tried many times but if I don’t I know you will eventually take my life
Ultimately you will win and I will leave the ones who care in pain
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‎23-04-2024 06:27 AM
‎23-04-2024 06:27 AM
Re: Anorexia lying bastard tried to give me a life sentence
Hi and welcome, @Kelsa , it's good you've joined 🙂
You write very powerfully!
You can type anything (like "anorexia") into the Search bar above to find threads on that topic. Also, a handy forum tip to tag someone is to type @ and then click on their name in the drop-down box - that way they'll get a notification that you've replied to them.
Feel free to let us know how we can support you 🙂
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‎23-04-2024 09:08 AM
‎23-04-2024 09:08 AM
Re: Anorexia lying bastard tried to give me a life sentence
Hi @Kelsa thank you for sharing. I very much relate to your words. They are beautifully put.
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‎23-04-2024 09:46 AM
‎23-04-2024 09:46 AM