Supporting my wife who lives with Borderline Personality Disorder while maintaining self care.

[lola]

Hi @Determined
lola here, one of the moderators, checking to see how you are?
take care
lola

[Determined]

We are now at the hosoital
She is going to be ok but needs obs just in case for next 24? Hours.

[Determined]

Thanks @lola
Doing ok at the moment I think
I started to fall apart when dr sent me out but am back at her side now so distracted enough.

[Determined]

@Former-Member

Spent the day at emergency but have just been discharged. I wish they had admitted her but my darling refused. 

I don't know what to do at the moment 😢  not feeling very confident at all... 

[Former-Member]

@Determined
Step by step Bro
- who is looking after boys?
- what are you going to eat tonight?
- If boys at home, can you get movie or something ready for them to be entertained?
- Get them in PJs asap after tea while darling gets lunches ready.
Keeping you in prayers.
D

[Determined]

@Former-Member

Mum dropped the boys home about an hour ago, 

Tinned spaghetti on toast for dinner

Boys are watching some rubbish on tv while darling makes school lunches, she has a routine to keep things in order so trying not to hover and just keeping bub occupied as he likes to help in the kitchen.  

Thankyou for your prayers, much appreciated at the moment. 

Spoke to my mum when she dropped the boys off, she is happy to pop over for a visit on Tuesday knowing my darling will be busy around the house. Happy just to read a book or whatever. Darling has grudgingly accepted that I have asked.  

[Former-Member]

@Determined
Hard not to hover ...
One step in front of the other ...

[Phoenix_Rising]

Hi @Determined,

I saw your posts regarding what happened with your darling yesterday. It must be super hard for you seeing her sent home after such a situation. I have had many experiences like that, of being sent home when other people may wonder why on Earth the hospital wouldn't keep me in. Obviously I don't know what the reasoning was for this decision in your darling's situation, but I know that for me, it was often very much due to the stigma and negative attitudes towards people with BPD. I'm sure you know what I mean - labelling behaviour as "just attention seeking" rather than seeing it for what it is - an extreme behaviour by someone in extreme pain. You, your darling and your children are very much in my thoughts tonight, Determined. It is so hard. It is so so SO hard. 

[Former-Member]

Checking in on you today @Determined

[Determined]

Thanks @Phoenix_Rising  @Former-Member

Things are steady here at the moment. Well as steady as they can be anyway. Darling has been super tired but ok. She is grudgingly accepting my mum coming and stay the day tomorrow while I am at a uni leadership training day. She doesn't want to 'be babysat' but accepts my concerns.   We have a pdoc appointment tomorrow afternoon and an appointment with our couples councillor on Friday.  

I was more scared yesterday than I have ever been about the outcome of her actions, it was that serious. Im just so glad I stayed home, I was going to take the boys to church and leave her rest but something she said made me change my mind. I still have not processed it yet properly. I am not happy leaving her tomorrow even with mum here but need to get away for some self care. 

Waiting to see the outcome of tomorrows appointment with the pdoc.