Hi @tired_sisyphus
In support of what @tyme has said and to answer your question, while the forums here are invaluable, I think there is great benefit in finding someone (Psychologist/ counsellor) ahead of time that you can build a relationship with. So that in times of trial you can get more benefit from a debrief.
For me that took a few failed attempts.
Worst case the advice was to leave my wife and children as my happiness and wellbeing was more important than them.
Standard line was to do silly breathing exercises and self talk to convince myself how awesome I am. Not totally dissing mindfulness, it has its place, but for me that was not in the middle of supporting a loved one through a crisis.
When I finally found someone who was happy to debrief and simply unpack my emotions the benefit was dramatic.
I tried for too long to persevere by myself while maintaining a full time high pressure job (particularly after being told to pack my bags and run away) and suffered a major burnout as a result. So based on my experience I can not overstate having adequate supports around you.
I am now blessed to have an amazing supported work environment but I have also learned to draw on supports, freely and genuinely offered from family, friends and our church family rather than cover up and pretend all was ok when it was not.
Hope that helps, happy to clarify or answer any questions.
Bit scattered at times but you may find some benefit reading back through his thread. one of my key motivations about trying to be honest other than debriefing was that our journey may help someone else so they didn't have to make the same mistakes I made.
Time over I hope I would do things in a more healthy (for me) fashion, but also recognize that I disregarded most advice on the misguided notion that it was my responsibility to support and protect my family and that accepting help = failure and letting my family down.
Hope that helps.
