14-10-2020 10:22 AM
My husband has been diagnosed with high stress and moderate depression, to help me cope with this and find out how to best navigate the situation for my own health I have been seeing my own therapist separately. After a big session discussing the latest developments with him, she has suggested that maybe my husband look into EDMR (Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprocessing) Therapy and have done some digging but curious to know if anyone here has had someone undergo this type of treatment and share their stories with me.
The background is that I have been with my husband for almost a decade, married for 2 years. We have a wonderful life and very successful in our work and personal lives, although every few years he hits a big depressive state where he engages in high-risk behaviour and is very quick to point to our relationship as the issue as he feels 'trapped'. He has gone through a fair bit of trauma in his childhood and has never truly dealt with it nor have the family really amended any of the relationships - they typically sweep things under the rug. This is the first time he has actually taken steps to seek help and get a diagnosis so I am trying to be completely supportive and empathetic. He has said some very heavy things but I am trying to look past it as the depressive episode speaking and it's not actually how he feels. Only a few weeks ago he was the happiest guy on the planet and so excited about a lot of exciting things on the horizon for us, suddenly his whole personality changed and became cold, nasty and has shut me out, each time we try to have a discussion he shares thoughts about feeling trapped in the marriage which is painful to hear although I don't believe this is actually how he feels - prior to this flip, he will show anyone who is mildly interested our wedding video and beams with pride.
It's a very long journey ahead and we have a wonderful support network behind him and for me, I am the eternal optimist and realist.
Thanks for reading and really interested in hearing anyone's experiences.
15-10-2020 03:47 PM
Re: EDMR Therapy
@ElMacc when my bipolar/PTSD partner is depressed he goes on and on about how much he wishes he was still with his ex of 14 years. It used to hurt but now I know it's just part of the illness. A lot of the cruel things he says to me he can't even remember saying and it hurts him deeply if I tell him.
We are just emerging from a very, very bad few months but some new meds are bringing him back to me.
I hope you find these forums as useful and supportive as I have.
Good luck on your journey.
16-10-2020 11:42 PM
Re: EDMR Therapy
So sorry you and hubby are having such a tough time. I've had EMDR with a NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) therapist, and it was the best thing I could have done.
I had PTSD for several years after an assault at work. I wasn't injured, but badly traumatised. After 5 years of counselling and psychotherapy, I'd improved but not fully recovered. EMDR got me over that last hump. It's a very simple process, but you have to be willing to go through a whole lot of discomfort and fear. While following her moving finger I had to go back to the assault, picture it, feel it, then repeat many, many times. I kept going until the memory was still there, but I was no longer shaking and crying in fear. Changed my life.
Hoping you and hubby can soon find some peace and relief. Wishing you both all the best.
17-10-2020 09:34 AM
Re: EDMR Therapy
Best of luck.