Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[MarieC]

Hi I'm new here. I care for my husband of nearly 20 years who has a chronic illness and anxiety and depression. The problem is I'm so unhappy and depressed. I stay in bed all of the days there are no appointments because depression makes it hard to get up.  I'm  unhappy in my relationship also, I don't love him anymore. I'm already on the highest dose of antidepressants and I don't know what to do. I feel trapped because I feel I can't leave for many reasons 1 He needs me to be his carer 2 I have nowhere to go because I can't afford to pay for rent somewhere else, I'm on a pension 3  Leaving would be so hard emotionally, I've had a traumatic childhood and leaving leads to severe trauma where I have needed to be hospitalized. 4 i have no support, no friends or family that will help me. 5 i don't have the courage to leave, it causes panic attacks. Everyday is a struggle trying to work out how to cope. I'm not able to leave but I'm so unhappy. I'm trapped by my circumstances and by my emotions. All I want is to find some peace. I have no hope. I don't think anyone can help

[hanami]

@MarieC Hi!

Oh gosh, I'm so sorry to read your post and what you're going through. What an absolutely tough predicament to be in. I really feel for you. You must feel so 'stuck'. 

I'm hoping some others in your situation may chime in and offer some wise words. Sadly I don't have an ideas about what to do but I just want to say you are very welcome here to share what you like and what you need to share. It's a totally safe and anonymous community and full of lovely lovely human. 

Warmest wishes
Hanami.

[tyme]

Hey @MarieC ,

I think you have taken a big step in reaching out here on the forums. It's not easy to be in a cycle of depression and despair. It must be so hard to be the sole carer for you husband.

I heat that depression has taken a real hold on you right now. Have you been able to discuss a medication review or other options for your depression?

Do you have any supports in place you can speak to? e.g. counsellor, therapist?

Please know you are not alone. We are here for you.

What are somethings you enjoy doing? Cooking, gardening, art, sport?