Friends, Family & Carers Forum

[MIFANTCARER]

Good morning,

Its so great you have reached out well done,

one of the thiings I recognised experiencing similar to what you have written, is

A, investigate and document all  the wellbeing contributors in your current situation.

B, We slowly exchanged processed foods for fresh foods. that were not good contibutors to good actions.

C, as challenging as it was at the time to consider phisical movement, we and I "begrudgingly at 1st"  introduction  of phisical activities to elevate our heart rate which lead to the production of serotonon and Dopamine the feel good hormones.

I think also what has really aided us is me being Merciful toward the illness and my husband.

Please look after you, introduce activites which you enjoy, reasure your loved one that you doing things you enjoy, its all part of the bigger picture for both your wellbeing and that you do love him.

Heres to fresh food and movement.

[Lostatsea]

Hi@cappy@soul@Darcy@Shaz51. My husband has been getting help for over 4 years now. But a huge problem is that he thinks he knows more about the meds than the psych. So he starts to change his dose around. I'm so frustrated with how he disregards an expert's advice. I have to treat him like a child to follow up on his actions. Also he refuses to acknowledge the has bipolar. Doc is obviously clueless!!. I'm desperately trying to keep all three people in my family going....one husband with BiPD, one daughter with depression and one son with autism and huge anxiety.
I'm in a spin. Anyone else feel like their life is like that kids toy where you hammer in the one thing and then the other shape pops up.... There's never a calm day. Why can't they all just stay down ...just for a bit 😞

[Former-Member]

Hi @Lostatsea

It can all be overwhelming.

Meds are a hard one as there are a lot of scholarly articles on what works and what does not and getting them right when a patient is compliant can be hit and miss, let alone when they are not. Often the patient sees side effects and dulling of emotions rather than the positive side of keeping mood stabilised. Getting a good balance is difficult and I know I have struggled with this in relation to Mr Darcy's meds and have had to advocate for him - his BPii diagnosis has been a long time coming as his case has been complex we are up to drug 16 and he is now relatively stable. However, all med changes have been done with his pdoc directing. I asked for dose adjustments in both his current meds, one was successful, the other not so. I have had to read up on the different classes of drugs and treatment of various MI - Mr D had side effects such as hypomania, agitation, memory loss and sexual dysfunction. Often the pdocs do not communicate well and apparently only a small percentage of carers understand the diagnosis, treatment of it and how to interact with a family member that has it, when they do, outcomes are so much better for the patient.
I document my observations using the headings recommended in this talk:

https://youtu.be/NRO0-JXuFMY

Loss of insight complicates things further - I have been recommended a book by Xavier Amador "I am Not Sick, I Do Not Need Help" His focus is how to get a patient to accept help when they cannot see or accept they have a mental illness - these talks explain - he does focus in Sz but mentions stats for BP.

Part 1:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lstn6WNnCRc

Part 2:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VxiBgq5G-cI

This is a method that the Qld mental health resources for carers website suggests. (This site was also helpful to me)

http://mhr4c.com.au/coping-strategies/the-leap-approach/

Hope this helps.
Darcy

[soul]

Good morning - your tags don't seem to be working. They should look like this @Lostatsea with the name highlighted. That way, we will get email alerts.

Yes, there is often a lot of impatience surrounding medication. My partner stopped and started medication because he "didn't like them" It is so important to give them a chance to work before looking at changing them. It can be challenging to find the right combination and dosage as @Former-Member has pointed out. Even then, what may work for a while can require a change if they cease to have the desired effect. 

Perhaps you could find some information on the internet so that your husband doesn't feel that it's simply a case of you telling him what to do. Send him a link or print it out. Maybe a call to the doctor to explain the situation so next time he visits, this can come from a professional. They must surely have experience with medication non compliance and can stress the importance of adhering to their recommendations. 

I feel for you that you seem to be in the position of constantly putting out fires. It must be exhausting, physically and emotionally. Do you get a break sometimes? What do you do for yourself?

Hope today is a good one for you.

[Former-Member]

Hi @Lostatsea

Think the problem with tagging was that there appeared to be no space between names.

Woke up during the night and logged on as I couldn't sleep.

The stress on the carer is enormous, looking after our loved ones and having to go to work to support them. Feeling as though you are their mother and not their beloved, feeling overwhelmed by it all, cursing that there is no definitive test for diagnosis, worrying about what the future holds.

And yet, I hold on to defiant and resolute hope that things can get better, that what I do is worthwhile and that my loved one will improve and live a meaningful life.

Darcy